


Chapter Twenty-Three: Damage I've Done

by CavalierConvoy



Series: MTMTE Series One: Shoot Straight with a Crooked Gun [24]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers Generation One, Transformers Generation Two, Transformers: Beast Machines, Transformers: Beast Wars
Genre: Alcohol Withdrawal, Gen, Hacking, Investigations, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Security Clearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:17:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CavalierConvoy/pseuds/CavalierConvoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Cavalier's help, Artemis is able to access Red Alert's terminal. Finding documents pertaining to Garrus-9, stemming from the Messatine mission, she plots her next course of action, only to have her own demons blindside her in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapter Twenty-Three: Damage I've Done

"There's buzzin' and ringin' in my ear  
And I wonder where do I go from here  
The moments missed, the tickin' of time  
I suppose this life is mine, all mine  
I remember a time when my mind was clean and clear.

["Damage I've Done"](http://youtu.be/62Mye3v3_KQ) by The Heads with Johnette Napolitano, from _No Talking, Just Head_

 _Lost Light_  
Now

"Is that _Wreckers: Declassified_ I see in your hands?"

Artemis looked up at the grate above her head; Cavalier, stealthy little glitch, had taken her choice of travelling through the ship.

"You said you wanted discretion," the white and black Autobot continued, pulling away the grate and slipping into the room. "So, what's the problem?"

"Red Alert's terminal isn't connected to the ship intranet," Artemis explained, pushing away from the desk, mindful of the track the chair had always taken. "I need access."

"Magnus can't unlock it?" Cavalier raised her brow, but did as instructed, pulling out her own jail-broken 'pad. "Actually, not surprised: if anyone can throw me a roadblock, it's Red. Challenge accepted. So, never got to read the Three-Three-Two; that had to do with G-9. Seriously bummed, too — we never got to hang."

"I don't want to think about G-9," Artemis growled.

"You think you'd make a difference if you were there? And if you did survive -- frag, look at Max! What happened to him! Look, boss-lady, sad and all we lost some good 'bots and friends to boot, but you and me and the boys, we dodged that bullet. I never thought I'd say this, but G-9 made me thankful of being stuck with babysitting Screamer for two stels. Hashtag: just sayin'."

However unlikely Cavalier hit the trigger on purpose, Artemis refused to acknowledge it. "Aren't you supposed to be unlocking Red's terminal?"

"Okay, newsflash? Those vids of hackers haunched over consoles typing furiously? Total show, because it's boring to watch someone write a script in advance. I push a button, run my script, and it scans the terminal while tricking it to think that every time it runs a passcode cycle that it's the first time, thus avoiding a lockout. Seriously, might as well enjoy a hot cuppa while the scan runs. Hard work is done during downtime; when it's show time, that's when you sit back and let your program do its job."

"How long will it take?"

"Give it a few cycles. Red favours using a combination of both English letters and Autobot glyphs, which takes a longer than the usual hack. So, want." She pointed to the book in Artemis's hands.

Artemis, with a sigh, passed the book to her flatmate. "Too many adverbs for my taste."

"Oh, I love adverbs. Don't know what they are, but if Fisitron uses them, then I must love them." Leaning against the wall, Cavalier opened the book to the last chapter. 

"I'm surprised you didn't subscribe to the pinbeam edition, like First Aid did."

"Frag, I don't trust pinbeam; people don't realise how easy it is to insert a snatch program into those. Speaking from experience and all, yanno, on the server side of things —" A fanfare from the Minibot's 'pad interrupted her. "Ah! Toast is done!" Closing the book, Cavalier picked up her 'pad, typing one-fingered the passcode into the terminal. "You're all set, boss lady. Anything else you need me to grab?"

"Not right now, but knowing that you likely downloaded his hard-drive contents to your 'pad, I'll be tapping you later for info."

Cavalier saluted. "Glad to be of service! So, when will he be back on duty? I'm working on my next LARP and want to work around his schedule for optimum performance."

"Undetermined," Artemis took a clipped tone. "Magnus is in charge until then."

Cavalier, having jumped to get a hold of the vent lip, missed and crashed into the wall, landing in an undignified jumble with a curse.

"He also staggered mine and 'Cutter's shifts," the larger mech continued as though nothing had transpired, "so I'm probably going to be surly for a while."

"So no hab-suite parties after zero hour. Gotcha." Cavalier leapt again, pulling herself into the vent and replacing the grate. Artemis gave her a half-sparked wave before returning to the desk, studying the mind-mapping file. 

And the _Wreckers: Declassified_ made sense. 

Red Alert had been dissecting the events leading up to the Wreckers' last stand on Garrus-9 and after.

The question was, why?

Her conversation with Max returned to the foreground, and her fingers brushed against her flask before closing her fist as a reminder. 

When did Red's paranoia kick in?

She copied over the unlocked files to her datapad, then went to work searching for common strings. Max. the Delphi rescue. Rung's incapacitation. A sound file....

Artemis tapped her comm. "Oi, 'Cutter," she hailed.

Ten clicks passed before an answer came. _"This better be good; I'm in the process of locating and disabling the cameras that a certain someone — not mentioning any names, mind — had hacked. Which means going through footage of each camera and waiting - just waiting - for jumps-cares. Very important stuff, you know."_

"Let me guess, didn't expect me to call."

_"Just about went through the ceiling, yeah. What's up?"_

"Let's just say hypothetically that I'm doing some extra-curricular investigation, and just so happened on some info on Red. Who would be the best person, in theory, to speak to regarding his most recent activities, if not Swerve?"

_"In theory, that's easy: Inferno. He and Red are - were - tight. He tends to spend most of the time down in the engine rooms with the other sappers."_

Another one of Optimus' crew - she met Inferno in passing, first few sols on board. "Anything I need to know about him? Temperament? Angle of attack?"

 _"You'd like him — bit of a hothead. See what I did there? Anyway, yeah, you don't need to tiptoe around him; he'll want to get to the bottom of this as well. Just tell him I recommended you to talk to him. In theory."_

"You're the best. See you tonight." Thumbing the call-end button, she cleaned up her investigation space, locking down the terminal with an authorisation key and wrote a citation on the logs that she removed the two books from the person's of interest room. Person of interest's? Primus, now she was hating the awkwardness of that phrase.

With both books under her arm, she exited the room. 

Why the interest in Garrus-9? Likely when Max joined the crew, but that should have been under medical investigation, not security. Unless Red suspected a security threat. But if that were the case, he would have raised red flags when Max first stepped on board.

Primus, she needed a drink. Her head was pounding, her thoughts thunder. Those monsters in her memory were just out of focus, out of sight, but waiting for her to fall asleep to pounce, to drag her back into the darkness.

Clenching her fist, she pulled out her 'pad and sent a quick note to First Aid: _"request for advice: fighting withdrawal"_ and resumed her trek. First Aid was discreet, and was familiar with her vices from her time back in Autobot City. Her hand was shaking. Taking a moment, she leaned against the wall, closed her optics and took a breath. Another. Focus on stopping the shakes. 

She was alone and that made matters worse.

Engine room. If she could make it to the lift....

"Pull yourself together, Art," she ordered. Focus. Focus.

_Focus...._

Someone grabbed her elbow; she ratcheted back the opposite fist, only to stop in mid-swing when she found herself facing off with First Aid; behind him was the ward nurse, Ambulon. 

"We're here to help, Artemis," the assistant chief medical officer assured, his voice light and friendly. "Tell me what you're feeling right now, if you can."

"Just tell me what I have to do," she muttered, pulling away. "I've got to do my job."

"You push yourself too hard," First Aid reminded. "We've been over this before. Describe to us the symptoms...."

 

*

 

Ratchet was yelling at someone. Someone not her, so that was a plus.

She was aware of someone standing vigil to her right. Forcing open one optic, she turned to her head to regard her visitor. The ancient Minibot, Tailgate. He was sitting in a chair, his legs swinging. He played the innocent well. 

"Oi," she croaked. He snapped to attention. "Oi, who's Ratchet yelling at?"

Tailgate looked over his shoulder, then back at the larger Autobot. "Um. Magnus?" He delivered the answer as though he was uncertain of whether or not to report it. "Are you all right? When First Aid and Ambulon brought you in, I was afraid maybe you got shot with one of those time-bombs, like what happened to Ironfist on -- "

"No, Tailgate." She interrupted. It kept going back to Garrus-9. "No, I did something stupid, that's all. Pushed myself."

"What happened?" Tailgate kept his voice low.

"You've got to be the last person on the ship not to figure this out," she chuckled. "I'm an addict, kid. I fend off the bad memories and experiences by drowning them in engex. I had a withdrawal symptom. A bad one. It happens." Artemis attempted to sit up, but nausea pushed her back on the recharge slab. "Ratchet yelling at Magnus. Huh."

"Only person who'd dare to, I'd imagine," Tailgate shivered, glancing through the glazing. "Oops, they're coming this way."

"Now they're gonna give me hell. Better take off, kid; this might get messy."

Tailgate nodded, sliding off the chair and exiting the room, avoiding Ratchet with a quick side-step.

"For Primussake, Artemis, what the hell were you thinking?" he initiated, waving his datapad in the air. "Has anyone ever explained to you the dangers of total absence in the case of excessive engex consumption?"

"I believe Rung did at one point."

"And you decided not to listen."

"I was trying to do my job," she snapped, then groaned as another migraine pierced her brain.

"Magnus, out." Ratchet ordered. When the ship's first officer did not move, Ratchet repeated his order with a stiff gesture pointing to the door. "I said out!"

Artemis heard Magnus leave; she could not bring herself to watch, or even witness his expression, his perceived disappointment. Closing the door behind the _Lost Light's_ first officer, Ratchet then thumbed the glyph to opaque the windows of the small room. Pulling over the chair that Tailgate had occupied, he leaned forward, elbows on knees. "All right, tell me from the top, starting with the last time you saw Red alive: what happened?"

He might not be a psychiatrist, but he knew enough to know it stemmed from. "'Cutter and I had been called to Red's to investigate a possible theft -- "

"No. You. What were you doing? How much did you drink leading up to this morning? Are you trying to cause a system-wide seizure? You've acclimated your system to expect engex, you can't just remove it and expect everything will be fine! Where did you get a fool idea like that? You should know better!"

"Anyone tell you your bedside manner sucks?" Artemis muttered.

"Anyone tell you your sarcasm will get you slagged?" Ratchet countered. "Artemis, you should have come to talk to me or First Aid before trying this on your own." He held up a hand to halt her protest. "Yes, I know you like to do things on your own, 'tough it out'." He twitched the index and middle fingers of both hands by his head in air quotes. "Fragging Wrecker mentality - you're all the same. But you're neither medically nor psychologically qualified to diagnose your internal problems. That's why we have a medical staff on board. How many times do I have to smack you before I can drive it through your overly-thick cranial plating that we're on your side to help in these cases? Because I can tell you right now, you're useless to us on this bed. Right now. Because you thought you could treat yourself. You leave the diagnosis and treatment to us professionals. I don't go about telling you how to do your job. I don't go out there getting my 'Wrecker up'." He gestured his ship-wide-famous air quotes again. "That's what you do. I have to deal with the aftermath. Understood?"

She nodded, the briefest of gestures.

"Good. Now, I'm not going to go in on doing Rung's job, but I think I know why you did this. But I'm not going to go there, because it's not my position. We've got a choice: we can do this the easy way or the hard way. For your sake, I'd recommend the hard way."

"And why's that?"

"Because I want to see you work this through by your own stubborn will. The easy way's prescribing a drug which would give you an allergic reaction to engex. What you felt this morning? That's what would happen. Every fragging time you have a drink. Which trust me, won't be fun either, but the effects would be faster. Unlike the hard way, you'll probably never be able to handle the taste of engex ever again. It's gonna be a long trek, Art, but you're not doing it alone."

She harrumphed. "I guess the hard way it is."

"Good. I told Magnus you're getting some time off to recoop. In the meantime, until Rung is back to full duty, just be conscious of what you're doing until then. Don't do this 'cold turkey' slag again."

"Is that why you yelled at him?"

"I yelled at him," Ratchet smirked, "because he had the audacity to try and do my job."

 

NEXT CHAPTER: In The Meantime


End file.
